Unsettle Me

Here's my training ground... It's a 1.5 mile running trail around the lake.  Love it!

I feel like I could sit and write...and write...and write about all the things I'm learning, feeling, or just thinking!  This is an unusual transformation that's taking place b/c I sincerely feel it happening from the inside-out.  No matter your faith or views, I think we can agree that sometimes we have a 'heart' response to a 'physical' need. It's been a long time coming for me.  This weekend I spent a good amount of time reading through old journals that had been tucked away and forgotten.  It hit me hard... the theme throughout all of those entries was wanting to be different, wanting to lose weight, desiring a change.  *crickets chirping*   It had never happened until now.  It was also somewhat disheartening to read through each page and realize that this battle has been raging for well over 10 years.  This kinda sealed the deal for me... I didn't want to fill pages of another journal just wishing that I had followed through or done something about it.  This time around I'm committed to making something happen!

One of the biggest blessings I've been given is a coworker/new friend who is a runner.  Not just a runner but a woman who has successfully overcome her own struggles with weight and is a multi-marathoner.  She and I have been able to start a coach/trainee relationship but truthfully it's become an even stronger friendship.  I thank God for Heather and her commitment to making my journey a success.  (pics to come soon)  One of the things she helped me with was getting a new pair of shoes, courtesy of a foot analysis at Running Etc.  If you've never gone to a running store, YOU SHOULD! The wealth of information and knowledge they have is astounding and you walk away with the most comfortable pair of running/walking shoes you'll ever own...just saying :)  

In wanting to support and encourage my own journey, I've found it necessary to 'resource' myself.  I've just finished up my 90 day devotional: God Chicks by Holly Wagner ( http://www.godchicks.com/ ) and am now ready to start Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst ( http://lysaterkeurst.com/ ).  She wasn't an author I was familiar with until I had read an online review and found that she had also created a book that addresses my 'cravings'... as a woman and as a believer.    It's one I've been very anxious to begin and considering today's message (first day), this is a divinely chosen book for my time.

Unsettle me.

That is where I've got to start! I've been too settled, too content, not bothered enough to be concerned for my own health or the growth of my relationship with God.  It's easy to make excuses..we ALL do it...not enough hours in the day, not enough sleep, etc. I found that idle time was plentiful but what I chose to do with it wasn't productive.

My heart has needed unsettling too.  There's a lot behind the justification of being overweight.  There are tons of examples I can recount from childhood; who's done me wrong, what didn't go right, all the hurts and all the people... and where does that leave me? Still overweight...fat...and unhappy.  (fat really is an ugly word, I had a hard time even typing it)  All this to say, that I'm welcoming the unsettling.  I want God to stir my spirit, my heart, my desires...to crave more of Him, less of myself, and focus my heart on the life He wants for me.

I hope that as you read this or follow my journey that you'll be led to ask for the same... an unsettled spirit that won't let you waste the precious life you've been given.

Thought for Day 1: Made to Crave
Unsettle me in the best kind of way.  I know that when I allow You to reach those secret places in my soul that have been hidden for far too long - suddenly I feel renewed and the fresh wind You breathe over me lifts me up, and I can't look back.